There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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