I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
