hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
