happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
she looked like the before picture.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
