I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I need a beard to bite.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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