Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
