i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
