Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
