Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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