the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
