I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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