i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
