Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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