we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
