yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
