It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
