He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
