I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
