omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
