Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
