Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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