There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
