it wasn't lemon gatorade
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
