I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
