I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
