do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
