White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
