to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
