I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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