I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
