I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
