A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
