oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
