he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
