I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
