what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
