His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
