This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
What did we do last night that was yellow?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
We're not piercing ourselves today.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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