SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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