I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
