If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
