Porn is love you can see.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
