you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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