So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
