YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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