WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize