using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
