This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
