Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Randomize
