Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
