We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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